A Fearful Heart

[newestconvert]

Back in LA, Taylor decided it was time to stop in at FC and check out this new woman in Ridge's life, Ashley Abbott. As she approached Ridge's office door, she could hear voices inside. The door was slightly ajar, so Taylor stood back out of the light watching the scene inside the room. She noted that Ashley was indeed a beautiful woman, who was currently intent on straightening Ridge's tie in between kissing him.Taylor was suddenly overcome with jealousy and anger...jealous of the woman's easy manner with her ex husband and anger with Ridge for moving on so quickly from both herself and Brooke. Afterall, if he wasn't going to be with Brooke he could have at least looked again in her direction. She was the mother of his children...and...she had to admit, she still loved him. She stepped back from the door and knocked lightly, starting guiltily when Ridge pulled the door open.
"Taylor," Ridge said in suprise. "what are you doing here?"
"I came to make sure you weren't heart broken,"she said wryly and glancing at Ashley added, "I see you didn't waste much time."
Ashley took in the other woman and moved forward to introduce herself, ignoring the hostility on Taylor's face. "Hi, I'm Ashley and you must be Taylor. You are as beautiful as Ridge has told me," she sad with a smile holding out her hand. Taylor ignored Ashley's outstretched hand and turned away from Ashley ignoring her altogether. Ashley, quickly stepped back and told Ridge she'd see him later before she left the room, throwing a puzzled glance at Taylor on her way out.
"Why are you here, Taylor?" Ridge asked taking in her appearance as she responded that she was there to talk about Thomas. As she spoke, Ridge tried to look at her objectively. She was beautiful and, he had to admit, she still could move him. He had never wanted to hurt her or Brooke. He had loved them both...in different ways and for different reasons. He had truly been heart broken when he thought Taylor dead and had mourned her heavily before turning eventually to Brooke. He had loved Brooke too. Taylor had been cool, sophisticated and supportive. Her devotion had allowed him to exercise his creative side without her interfering in it or in his job. Brooke, on the other hand, had been a part of his creativity....warm, passionate, she had been a part of his career and had fueled his creativity. He hadn't realized until recently how confused he had been when Taylor had returned. Torn between two loves...not knowing which one he really had wanted or needed. In the end he had hurt them both, ruining his relationship with both women. Brooke he knew he had lost forever, and in fact, he had deliberately sabotaged their relationship unable to find the passion with her that they had once shared. Ashley reminded him of Taylor. She too was cool, sophisticated... was he still harboring feelings for his ex, he wondered? Ridge interrupted Taylor's rant about Thomas' grades and told her that this sounded like a lunch conversation. Taking her arm he led her from the office, determined to explore the sudden feeling of warmth he felt toward Taylor.....

[newestconvert]

In the file room at the hospital, Bridget and Greg are leaning over the two open files on the desk. She has called Dr. Mungeon in to look over the test results in the two files to confirm her own findings. Greg, stands close to Brigdet and for a moment is lost in her smell. Bridget touches his arm and brings him back to the task at hand. He says, "I agree with your findings here, Bridget. If you want more specifics though, I'd ask Danial down in genetics to do a detailed comparison. And if you have a DNA sample from either of the mothers I would add that to the mix. Now, about dinner...."
Bridget stares at the tests for another moment then turns smiling to Greg. "You're on for dinner! My turn to buy. Give me ten minutes and I'll meet you outside of emergency, ok?" Greg agrees and heads out the door not sure if his confirmation is exactly what Bridget wants to hear. After he has gone, Bridget looks at the two files... one hers and one her mother's. If what she suspects is really true, she needs to confirm it fast and talk to her mother soon....very soon. She closes the file and places them carefully in the desk. This was going to affect many lives.... and she wondered why the truth had been hidden and by whom....

[newestconvert]

Later that evening on St. John, Nick made his way back along the beach to Brooke's villa rehearsing in his mind his apology. He'd had a drink or two which had helped ease the pain in his heart but not his shame over what he had said to her. As he approached her beach area he slowed, dragging his steps just a little. It was then that he caught sight of her, standing in the full moonlight up to her knees in the ocean. Her hair was still slightly damp from the shower she had taken earlier and the hem of her sundress trailed in the water as she stood staring out over the ocean and the moon's reflection on the water. Lost in thought she didn't hear him approach...he was transfixed, thinking she looked like a mermaid emerging from the sea. "You are the sea to me" his mind reminded him of the day he had said this to her... it was still true. A chill ran down his spine and shaking himself, he softly called out her name. Brooke turned to Nick still standing in the water, she stared. He held out his hand to her, suddenly afraid that she would turn and disappear into the water. For what seemed to be forever to Nick, Brooke hesitated, turned back to the sea for a moment and finally turned to him and walked slowly out of the water. Nick let out a small sigh of relief, not really sure why. "Nick," brooke said stonily. "Did you forget something?"
Nick stepped forward and although she hadn't touched his hand, he came close to her. "I wanted...needed.. to apologize,"he began awkwardly, "for what I said...implied this afternoon."
"It isn't anything that I haven't heard before," Brooke replied cooly, turning back to her stairs, her solitude truly invaded.
Nick, grabbed her arm and turned her back to him, "Not from me! You haven't heard it from me before and I was wrong to stoop to Stephanie's level. I wanted to hurt you and I went for what I knew would do it. I was wrong!" he stated angrily. Gaining control of his emotions he said more gently, "Please, Brooke. I started what happened between us today. I didn't stop it. You are not to blame."
Brooke looked at Nick and saw real regret in his eyes. He was tormented by what he had said to her and it was evident that he was truly sorry. She knew in her heart that she would never forget what he had said as it had so resonated with Stephanie's words over the years. But she believed he regretted the words. She saw no reason that both of them should agonize over his words and so she set him free. "I forgive you Nick. What happened between us, happened. We both need to move on with our lives." She reached up and touched his cheek briefly before starting up her steps. On the 5th step she turned..."Be happy Nick," was all she said before turning back and walking up the steps without turning back. Nick watched her until she was out of sight. The sea... damn... she was still the sea to him...

[Su-Lyn]

Oh My God, that is so sad. I had tears in my tears after reading this.

Couldn't care less about Taylor or Ridge to muster any comments. But well done. Thanks and I like it a lot.

[MontanaLindy]

Very nicely done, newestconvert! Thanks, again for sharing!

[karen3012]

Thank you newestconvert. Very enjoyable read, as always.

[brickfan]

Thanks Newestconfert Please try to apply for a job as writer at the show.

[brookennickfan]

Thanks newestconvert I wish this is what was happening on the show right now.

[Pagirl]

:)Thank you Newestconvert!!
Why oh why can't you write for the show???

[newestconvert]

Nick returned home and asked Taylor to marry him, determined to move on with his life. Taylor accepted eagerly, anxious to get recent thoughts of her ex-husband out of her head. The lunch she had shared with Ridge was too much a reminder of the life they had enjoyed and had left her disturbed and uneasy about her own choices. When Nick asked her to marry him, she had jumped at the chance asking that their engagement be a short one. They decided to marry within the month, as soon as Taylor could arrange the details. Nick, haunted by his meeting with Brooke, met with his lawyers and wrote up a compensation plan for Brooke, giving her a percentage of the proceeds from the new line she had designed. Nick knew that she had all of her assets tied up with Forrester Originals and that she had to be losing money right and left. He also knew that Brooke wouldn't accept any money from him directly after what had happened between them. She had said she forgave him but he knew too that she had meant what she'd said about the designs having no strings attached. He had sent off the compensation proposal to Brooke almost 3 weeks ago attaching a cover letter asking her to accept the package. Nick had written the letter himself, telling her that although he knew she didn't want the money, he had wanted her to have it. Fair was fair. And he had added that if she didn't need the money, he would appreciate it if she would put it into a trust fund for the childrens' education. He knew Brooke would never deprive them so he was confident that she would sign the proposal. Three weeks had passed and he'd still had no word from her however. He would give her two more days and then call her if he hadn't heard from her. He wanted it settled before his wedding which was scheduled for the next week.

Meanwhile, the results from the genetics expert had returned to Bridget and she and Greg had gone over them with a fine tooth comb. Bridget knew that she had to see her mother, explain the results and she needed to move fast. Nick and Taylor were to be married in just a few days. Her mother needed all the facts and soon! Nick needed to know as well, but Bridget realized that it was not her place to straighten things out, but her mother's. She hoped that her mother would do the right thing. She hated to see her mother hurting and she knew that she was. Bridget had called to tell her gently of the news of the upcoming nuptuals and she had encouraged her mother to tell Nick how she really felt. Brooke had been adamant that things between her and Nick were over. Bridget wasn't cso onvinced. Greg was proud of Bridget for wanting to help and protect her mother. He realized that Bridget was herself healing and he was thrilled as he was developing strong feelings for this very pretty, insecure woman. He encouraged Bridget to take a few days off to visit her mother in person and discuss the situation. Bridget was scheduled to leave that evening on a red eye to St. Thomas. Greg was driving her to the airport.

Taylor busily planned and prepared for her wedding. She was happy, she told herself repeatedly. Over the course of those 3 weeks Ridge had somehow managed to see her several more times, each time leaving Taylor confused about his intentions. He'd acted as though he'd missed her despite the fact that she knew he was seeing Ashley. Taylor was determined not to compete for Ridge's love again or to open herself to that kind of hurt. She was marrying Nick and Ridge would just have to accept that. Nick had even had a wedding dress designed and made up for her. She had come across it in his office one afternoon and had tried it on. She hated to tell Nick that the gown was too small and didn't suit her at all. Nor was it to her taste. She had gone out and purchased something much more appropriate and would just have to break the news to Nick when he presented the gown to her. Funny how he was waiting until the last minute though...

Back in St. John, Brooke resumed her life, trying hard to forget those moments in Nick's arms. The passion had been explosive, her love for him undeniable, but she too had to move on. She resumed her socializing with Sam and, although he was a bit reserved with her, they quickly fell back into a comfortable friendship. Katherine had watched Brooke like a hawk and felt that something was wrong. Brooke was barely eating, sleeping a lot, and was incredibly pale. She knew what had happened with Nick but after Brooke had told her, they agreed to never speak of it again. Katherine was worried for Brooke's health and she had asked Sam for his opinion fearing that Brooke was suffering clinical depression. Sam had noticed the change in Brooke but he suspected another reason for her illness. One evening, after Kathering had taken the children out to dinner, he showed up at Brooke's villa with take-out food bags. Brooke had been cautiously excited by his visit until he began pulling the food from the bag... frogs legs, octopus, and fried liver. Sam watched as Brooke literally turned green in front of him and dashed from the room to the bathroom. He slowly replaced the food cartons back into the bag, his suspicions confirmed, and followed Brooke. He knocked on the bathroom door and when he got no answer, opened it to find Brooke sitting on the floor across from the john with her head against the cool tiles of the wall. Sam ran a washcloth under cold water and knelt on the floor next to her, pressing the cloth gently to her face.
"Are you going to tell him?" he asked her softly.
"Yes, someday." Brooke replied.
"He'd want to know. Any man would want to know." Sam stated flatly.
"I know," Brooke replied, "But not now. He's getting married next week. I will NOT be accused of ruining this for him, of interfering. I'll tell him later...after the baby is born. I can't deal with him in my life during the pregnancy. Maybe that isn't fair to him but I have to be fair to me too. I know my limits." Brooke opened her eyes and they filled with tears. "I'm sorry..." she whispered as a tear ran down her cheek.
"Don't be sorry, Brooke. I think you are an incredible woman," he said gently putting his own forehead to hers. "I might wish this were my baby but that doesn't change how I feel about you. If you need cover, I am here and willing to be that for you. No one needs to know the truth until you are ready to tell it."
Brooke took Sam's face in her hands and kissed him softly on the lips. "You are an incredible man, Sam Winston. I am so glad I met you...." Brooke smiled tremulously and added, "Do you think we could order pizza instead?......"

[Su-Lyn]

Another wonderful part. Nick is an idiot and Taylor is a confuse user. She is using Nick to stay strong against her rekindling feelings for Ridge. Can't say it's working.

Really wish Brooke would tell Nick about the baby but then I understand her reasons. Poor Brooke. My heart broke for her and luckily she has Sam as a friend.

I can't believe I'm starting to like Bridget. Hope to read more soon. Thanks.

[brickfan]

WOW, :)I can't wait for the next chapter. Thank so much

[karen3012]

*sigh* This was wonderful newestconvert. I think you are about to make all my dreams for Brooke come true.

So Taylor is not only constantly eavesdropping, but nosing around also? Well, I guess she can wait till hell freezes over for Nick to present her with that wedding dress.

[lien]

I'm totally addicted to your story! Can't wait to read more.

[MontanaLindy]

Can't believe I missed this latest chapter until now!

I'm loving it! Thanks again for sharing with us! ;D

[tammievt]

I just read all of the chapters, they are incredible - I only wish you were a writer for B&B!!! I look forward to the next chapters - thank you!!

[newestconvert]

The next morning, Brooke is standing down at the small harbour watching the ferry carrying her daughter slowly make it's way to the island. She is glad that Bridget decided to take a break from her gruelling schedule even if she did sound rather uptight about her visit on the phone. Brooke loved her daughter with all her heart despite what had transpired between them in the past few years. Her only real regret was having to watch her daughter stumble down the same delusional path as she had when it came to men. She had been too wrapped up in Ridge and the associated drama to realize that both bridget and Nick had turned to one another out of desperation rather than real love. Had she seen it sooner, she would have asked Nick to back off in time to save her daughter some of the hurt she had endured. It seemed, however, that her daughter was destined to learn the hard way...as she had. She said a little prayer that Hope would not endure the same fate. Brooke smiled at the thought of Hope. Her parentage might have been questionable but how could Brooke ever regret her affair with Deacon when she had gotten Hope out of the deal? She wondered where Deacon was now. A part of her had truly loved him. She only wished him well. She rubbed a hand over her stomach. This baby, she thought, would only know love...and stability. No more relationships for her. Her children would be her only priority. If it were a lonely life for her, then so be it. She knew Sam was hoping for more from her, that he would gladly step up and be the father to her children. But as much as she was fond of him, she didn't love him. She knew Sam thought he could change that but Brooke, in her heart, knew he never would. He was a good friend and Brooke hoped that that would be enough for him. They had sat up late into the evening last night going over the contract that Nick had sent and planning the next 8 months of Brooke's life. She would stay here on St. John, in the villa with the children. She and Sam had crafted a proposal to send back to Nick where she could work on a retainer as a designer and consultant in abstentia. Nick needed her business and design savvy and with FO on the rocks, she needed a steady income. She was fairly confident that Nick would take the offer. Then, after the baby was born, she would return home. By then, Taylor and Nick would be well into their wedded bliss and would be unable to accuse her of interfering. Nick would be angry and likely hurt but that would pass once he held the baby. Brooke regretted not telling him sooner but it was the only way she could keep her own sanity. She watched the ferry dock and tie up. She smiled and waved to Bridget as she saw her on the gang plank. Bridget couldn't know about the baby yet either. Brooke could only pray that she would forgive her when she found out....

[newestconvert]

Bridget stepped off the boat and quickly walked to her mother embracing her in a bear hug. "Mom, you look beautiful as always!" Bridget proclaimed and she meant it. Her mother was as breath-taking as ever, perhaps even more so. Apparently the tropics agreed with her...or maybe it was Dr. Samual Winston that her mother had mentioned spending time with! Bridget had heard of the famous heart surgeon, in fact he was practically legendary in the US. She had studied several of his abstracts while in Med School and she had recognized his brilliance immediately. She could only hope that he was as true as his reputation and wouldn't hurt her mother. She'd had enought the past few years and was about to get another shock. She wished she didn't have to be the bearer of such news but it had to be done, and the sooner the better. Brooke thought her daughter looked a little tired and harried but she hoped that the break from the clinic and the Carribean sun would restore her. They chatted about Hope and RJ as they walked back to the villa, Brooke specifically explaining how much they all love St. John. She would lay the foundation for her own news that she would break to Bridget later that day. They walked through the door to shrieks of "suprise" and Bridget was quickly over taken by Hope and RJ who rushed forward to throw their arms around her. Bridget laughed and Brooke stepped over to stand by Sam and Katherine who had set up a large breakfast buffet in welcome. After a few minutes, Bridget disengaged herself from the little arms hugging her and she stepped over to the table and the adults standing by. She looked up at the handsome man standing next to her mother. "You must be Dr. Winston," Bridget said. "I've heard so much about you...first in medical school and also from Mom. Nice to meet you!"
"It's Sam, Bridget, and nice to meet you as well." Sam said smiling down at Bridget. She was a lovely girl, and exuded her mother's warmth and smile. Her could almost understand how a man would turn to her as a replacement for her mother. Almost. He knew there was no replacement for Brooke.

They spent the morning chatting and grazing at the brunch on the buffet table. In the early afternoon, Katherine took the children up for their nap and Bridget knew that now was the time to explain to her mother just what she had uncovered back at the hospital in LA. Bridget grabbed her briefcase, and suddenly serious, she told her mother that she needed to talk to her. Bridget looked Sam in the eye, mentally encouraging him to stay and be supportive. Sam looked at Brooke and she smiled and asked if it was OK for Sam to stay. Bridget told her mother that she would welcome his presence as he might be able to explain the medical intricasies better than she. Brooke looked intrigued by this and the three adjourned to a table out on the veranda, overlooking the sea. They all sat and Bridget pulled out the two files she had been carrying around with her during the past few weeks, one with her own name on it and one with her mother's. Bridget went on to explain about the file room at the hospital and the disarray it was in when she'd started at the clinic. She explained that as she had gone through files organizing them, she had come across hers and her mother's close together. This had piqued her curiousity as they had both been pregnant years apart. And so she had opened them...both. She told her mother how she had gone through her own file slowly, reliving her pregnancy as it was written in the file. Brooke made a sound of protest but Bridget assured her that it had been the right thing to do, that she needed to face and accept her past. She told Brooke how she had studied the DNA tests that they had run on Nicole after she had passed away in an effort to determine if her death had been due to genetic problems. She remembered setting the file aside, taking a break from all of the sadness, and opening her mother's file only to find RJ's paternity test at the forefront of the file. Bridget had found this strange and she had looked closer at the actual test. She explained to her mother that she had immediately recognized a similarity between RJ's tests and Nicole's. At this point Sam interrupted. He commented that this was to be expected as she and Brooke shared certain DNA markers. Bridget looked Sam in the eye and softly agreed with him. She went on to explain that the similarities were far greated than just the shared mother-daughter DNA. Bridget fell silent as she tried to gather her courage. Sam pulled the test results closer and studied them intently, suddenly understanding where Bridget was going. He, too, was silent for a moment as the implication hit him. He looked up at Bridget and saw fear and regret in her eyes. He reached out and touched her hand in comfort, trying to repress his own feelings of despair as he realized the implications of this discovery. Brooke looked confusedly from Bridget to Sam, not liking the look on eithers' face. Bridget tried to go on but could not. Sam turned to Brooke and told her softly, "The genetic markers indicate that your babies shared more than just your and Bridget's similar DNA. The tests indicate that RJ and Nicole shared the same father."
Bridget dropped her head into her hands as Brooke stood up in disbelief and anger. "You're wrong! Both of you! It's impossible! the doctor told Ridge and I...." Bridget lifted her head and explained that that doctor had mysteriously disappeared. She and Greg had searched the physician database and had been unable to locate him. It had all been a set up. The hospital was investigating but had little hope of tracking down the suppossed geneticist. Brooke sat down again slowly, looking at Bridget. She said quietly and deliberately, "You're saying Nick is RJ's father, aren't you?" Bridget, remained silent, her eyes filling with tears. Sam answered gently for Bridget. "Yes, darling. That's exactly what she is saying...."

[MontanaLindy]

Wow!

Another great read ... thank you! ;D

[lien]

WOW can't wait to read the next chapter! If only BB would write this way...

[brickfan]

WOW , This story is getting better and better.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

[karen3012]

I agree with the others WOW Thank you for another totally captivating read

[Donna]

fabulous!!

[Pagirl]

I Love it!
Can't wait for more.
Thank you. ;D

[Su-Lyn]

Loved it. Only here we get a DJ. But I am still hoping for RJ to be Nick's on the real show.

You are a marvellous writer. Please post more soon. Thanks.